** This was written completely in trini slang/broken English.
Yuh gone 51 Thursday and bounce up on a smallie dancing oh so aggressively on your bredrin but you know your bredrin gyal downstairs waiting on Ras to check her ID. He stands there awkwardly and uninterested because he knows his girlfriend is Chucky’s bride on steroids. Your friend’s girlfriend makes it past security and is by the window paying her $180 because is after 12 and by this time Twerking Sally all up in your bredrin face and down in his ears. You say nothing because its not your place right? You and the girlfriend make eye contact and you see it on her face that a war worse than any known to man is about to start if this smallie doesn’t stop dry humping this girl’s boyfriend. Twerking Sally reads the play and proceeds to make her way back to her friends however as soon as Girlfriend goes to the bathroom, Sally finds her way back by the people man. This goes on for the rest of the night until Girlfriend finally loses her cool and
snatches the now Tumbling Sally by her 24inch Brazilian deep wave. (Just Kidding, I don’t condone violence but you get the moral of the story)
Some women just have absolutely no respect for other people’s relationship. There are things you just don’t do with a man in a relationship. This would include but is not limited to
1. Dancing like you in a casting call for Brazzers. A little bit again and you looking for Copa to recruit you. Patrice Roberts once said, a little wine never hurt nobody but keep in mind that the key word here is ‘LITTLE’ not cock up your foot like you on episode 56 of Dutty Fridays.
2. Flirting, whether on social media or in private is definitely a no no. However you cannot be so boldface as to comment, hearts, kissy faces, love eyes, a wet tongue, on a woman’s husband/boyfriend post whether he rocking with his whole cock out or not. That is not your place! Women prove time and time again that men aren’t the only thirsty ones. Oh gosh turn down your desperation dial sometimes nah.
3. Grabbing his ass or penis. This one is self explanatory (I would hope) but in the event that it isn’t, you grab, you risk losing your hand.
4. Calling/Msging after hours. What happen? You’s a phone sex operator or you just want to reach on TriniHomewreckers so bad? If you not on your death bed, doh be calling people man after 10pm and even if you are, use your last moments to ask God for forgiveness for not using the trillions of gallons of water he left on this earth to quench your thirst.
5. Commenting on every single post. Come on, he really not that funny, is not Kevin Hart we talking about here. He post a picture of his dog’s vomit and you have to comment, are you a Vet or an emesis specialist? Give it a rest sometimes na babygirl.
There are also certain circumstances under which you should directly apply 10 ease ups to a man in a relationship.
– That’s your friend’s or sister’s man. Pretty straight forward right?
– Alyuh used to smash years ago. He moved on right? you should too.
– He not on youuu. How you over pooshy soo??
Ladies, even if you cant respect yourself, try your hardest to respect other people’s relationships please. You really don’t want to end up outside the fete with 5 fire officers patching up your buss head.